


A Question of Denial

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-02
Updated: 1999-04-02
Packaged: 2018-11-10 07:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11122908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Fraser tells Ray how he really feels.





	A Question of Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

A Question of Denial 

**Rated R for explicit m/m sex.**

Disclaimer: The usual, the characters portrayed here do not belonged to me but to Alliance. Okay? Happy? Can I get on with the story now? Sheesh... 

Note: There is no angst in my story, no h/c whatsoever. Sorry but after reading an angst or h/c laden story always makes me feel as if someone had ripped my heart out from my chest..., but that is not to say that I don't enjoy reading them, I just can't write them! I prefer romance, yes, and humour, definitely but sadness, please stay away. I adore happy endings, it's like an obsession. So for people who like gut wrenching, heart breaking sort of tales with really melancholy and bittersweet endings, then sadly and regretfully, my virgin attempt at slash is not for you. 

# A Question of Denial

by Valencia

"Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you love me." 

A nod. 

"Not love as in 'you're my best friend and I love you, man', but as in the romantic sense?" 

Another nod. 

"You are *in* love with me, that's what you're saying?" 

Slight hesitation and firm nod. 

When the outburst came, it was deafening, and Constable Benton Fraser winced a little but otherwise was his usual stoic self in the face of his friend, Ray Vecchio's wrath. 

"(JESUS CHRIST!!!) Benny!! What the hell is going on in that Canadian mind of yours?!" The detective roared. "You can't be in love with me!!" 

Fraser cocked his head a little as he looked at Ray. "Why not?" he asked in a serious and genuinely puzzled tone. 

Ray stared disbelievingly back at him when he heard that. "What do you mean, why not? You just can't!" 

"That's not a valid reason, Ray." 

"You just can't, okay? For one thing, you're a, a...guy!" 

"The fact that I am a male hasn't escaped my attention but that is still not a good reason for me not to fall in love with you." 

"Benny..." Ray groaned and covered his eyes with one hand in despair. This was too much. Fraser had been acting all weird the whole month and it didn't take a genius to know that something was bothering him. And when today, he finally cornered his partner and nagged incessantly at him to find out what's wrong, Fraser went and announced that apparently, the problem was that he had fallen in love with him. Him, Ray Vecchio. 

This was just too much. 

Fraser observed the slender man before him for a little while. He didn't really know when he had fallen in love with Ray, it had just happened. Lately, when Ray was around, he would feel happy and relaxed and when he wasn't around, agitation and uneasiness set in, clouding his mind, making him unable to focus or concentrate on anything until he was in Ray's presence again. That didn't really mean anything, of course, the fact that he took pleasure in his friend's company but when one's last waking thought before sleeping and first when awake was that friend, Fraser just knew. 

He loved Ray Vecchio. 

But Ray didn't seemed to be taking the news too well, judging from his reaction but on the other hand, he didn't really seemed particularly disgusted or repelled, just extremely annoyed, as a matter of fact, and hope stirred it's treacherous head in Fraser's heart. 

"Perhaps if you had a little time to adjust to the idea." he suggested to Ray. 

"So how do you proposed I do that? Go home and think about why suddenly my best friend and partner is in love with me?" Ray said sarcastically. "Or perhaps you think we should go on a date instead so that I could 'adjust'?" 

"That is a very good idea, Ray." Fraser looked struck. "Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?" 

"What?!" 

"You're the one who suggested it, Ray." 

"It was a sarcastic remark, for crying out loud, Benny! You know, saying one thing when you actually meant another. Sarcasm??" 

"So you don't want to go out with me then?" A hurt look appeared in Fraser's blue eyes and it made Ray feel inexplicably guilty at once. 

"No, I didn't mean it that way. I mean...I don't know what I mean!" Ray threw his hands up in eloquent despair. 

"So you do want to go out with me?" 

Ray gave up, there was no talking to Benny when he was like this. "Awright!! Geez, I'll go out with you. But it's not a date, understand? We'll have dinner and go to the movies. Like we've always done. A guy thing, okay? Like hockey and basketball games? It is not a date." Ray emphasised his last sentence, slowly and emphatically. 

"A movie and dinner sounds like a date, Ray." Fraser creased his forehead, puzzled. 

"Well, it's NOT and I'm not talking to you anymore. I'm leaving." Ray got up and walked rapidly towards Fraser's door. Okay, they'll go out together tomorrow night and do what they usually do and THEN maybe Benny will be sensible and stop all this nonsense about being in love with him! They were 

good friends and nothing more. 

"I'll pick you up after work tomorrow." he said, without looking back, and left. 

As Ray walked out the door, he didn't catched the smile that appeared on his friend's face and which stayed there for a good long while. 

******************************* 

"So what did you think of the movie, huh? Cool, right?" Ray asked Benny's opinion eagerly. "Especially when that helicopter crashed into the top of that building and the whole thing blew up in an awesome fireball!" 

"Well, the technical aspects of the film were excellent but the language and the violence were rather...extreme." Fraser concluded doubtfully. "Was it necessary to have chosen such a graphic piece of cinematic experience?" he asked Ray. 

"That's the whole point of why the show is a hit! People like violence! They like seeing blood and gore splattered in large quantities on the screen. If I had let you choose instead, we've probably had watched 'Mating Habits of the Yukon Bear' or something like that and be bored silly." Ray snorted derisively. 

Fraser and him were walking out of the theatre towards the Riv. It was late, they had only managed to catch the last show as the earlier one was full. So they had dinner first in a nice, quiet, off the beaten track, Italian restaurant that someone had recommended to Ray and which served really delicious pasta steeped in the most unbelievably rich meat sauce that the detective had ever laid eyes on or tasted. Fraser had viewed the artery clogging sauce for a dubious moment before Ray told him to stop being so healthy and live a little for goodness sakes! 

When they had finished, Fraser had insisted on paying for the meal and for the movie as well. 

"You've always paid for us both on our previous dates so it's only fair that I should do so now." he had explained to his friend. 

"Benny, how many times do I have to tell you that this is not a DATE!" Ray had hissed at Fraser, mindful of the other patrons in the restaurant. 

"If you say so, Ray." 

"I do say so. Just pay the damn thing and let's go." At least he didn't blurt out that he loved me, Ray had thought, exasperated. I should be grateful for *that* small blessing. 

Except for that particular incident, the evening had been just like any other nights when he went out with Benny. Just two good friends having dinner and going to the movies. No romantic overtones to it at all. So maybe now, Benny would see sense and stop all this fallen in love with him business. 

As they got in the car and drove in the direction of Fraser's building, they fell to talking about each other's respective day at work. Normal, healthy, buddy to buddy talk, Ray thought, pleased. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. 

As Ray drove, he glanced out from the corner at his eye, discreetly, at Fraser and examining his profile, he could well understand why women practically threw themselves at his feet. 'I guess he is pretty gorgeous.' Ray admitted privately to himself, thinking. 'Not just to women but to a lot of men too. And desirable to boot...What the hell am I thinking?!' And almost crashed the Riv into a signpost standing innocuously by the side of the street. 

"Ray! Are you all right?" Fraser asked worriedly. 

Ray managed to get the car back on track. "Yeah, I'm okay, just lost control for a minute there. Sorry, I must be more bushed than I thought. It's been a long day." he muttered, took a deep breath and calmed himself. I am not suddenly attracted to my best friend who just so happened to a guy. I am not! Ray repeated mentally, almost angrily, to himself. 

Fraser stared at him for a long moment but didn't say anything. 

And so they sat in silence for the rest of the journey until they reached Fraser's building and Ray pulled up in front of it. 

"Here you are, Benny. Night." he finally said, avoiding his friend's eyes. 

But Fraser didn't open the door and step out, he stayed where he was and shifted a little in his seat so that he was facing Ray who was staring fixedly out the windshield. 

"Look at me, Ray." 

"What for? Would you just get out and go home? Go feed Dief or something." Ray's eyes were still fixed stubbornly in front of him. 

"Ray, look at me." Fraser insisted quietly and a note of uncharacteristic command crept into his voice. 

But Ray wouldn't and so Fraser had no choice but to do what he did next. He reached out with both his hands and griped the sides of Ray's face, gently but firmly, and pulled it around so that the detective was finally facing him. 

"Benny! Stop that! Lemme go!" Ray tried futilely to twist away but Fraser's grip was too strong. Trapped, he stared helplessly into the face that had grown so familiar and...dear to him. No! He's just a friend, the best friend I ever had! Ray pushed the thought away angrily. 

Fraser then leaned forward slowly until his face was a mere breath's away 

from Ray's. 

Mesmerised, Ray stopped struggling. "Benny?" was all he could whispered before Fraser's lips descended upon his in a feather-light kiss. 

Ray closed his eyes and thought to himself in a panic, this can't be happening! Benny is *kissing* me! 

But somehow he didn't have the strength to push Fraser away. His friend's lips were warm and not unpleasant. In fact it felt kinda...nice. And even nicer when the kiss deepened and Ray felt Fraser's tongue against his lips, forcing them open, and thrusting deep within, tasting every inch of his mouth. 

Benny's French kissing me, was now the thought that ran through Ray's dazed brain. I didn't even know that *he* knew what French kissing was! 

And still he didn't pull away even though Fraser's kiss had grown more insistent, almost savagely needful, as he explored Ray's mouth relentlessly with his tongue. 

But when he felt a hand opening the top buttons of his shirt and fingers touching his left nipple, stroking it lightly, the sudden burst of desire and arousal were too much for him to handle and Ray finally shoved Benny away, gasping as he did. 

Fraser was breathing heavily too when the kiss broke and there was such passion and desire in his eyes that Ray felt shaken to his bones when he saw it. 

Oh God, he really does want me. But the thought didn't repulsed Ray, on the contrary, it made him hardened and that was what scared him. 

"Benny, I..." he broke off, not knowing what to say. These feelings was just too new and strange and he couldn't assimilate them at once. I *can't* be in love with Benny! He's my best bud and a *man*! 

When his lips touched Ray's, Fraser thought there could never be a more perfect moment than this. But when Ray's mouth parted compliantly under his, allowing his tongue access, he knew he was wrong. Sheer bliss would be a gross understatement of what he was feeling right now. But he wanted more, so much more. He wanted to kiss Ray's body all over, feel it writhing beneath his own. 

But when he saw Ray's aroused and frightened expression, he knew he had gone too far too fast. Ray wasn't ready yet. 

"I'm sor..." he started to apologise but was cut off in mid sentence. 

"Get out." Ray said, in a low and intense tone. 

"Ray..." Fraser stared helplessly at him. 

"Get out NOW!" 

He got out. And watched in silence as the Riv roared down the street and out of his life. 

***************************** A week later, Fraser was sitting at his desk in his office at the Consulate when he suddenly heaved a sigh and buried his face in his hands. 

Ray still refused to see or even speak to him and Fraser's heart felt like it was breaking in two. 

"That's ridiculous, son. Hearts don't break, regardless of what people say." And Fraser didn't have to see to know who that voice belonged to. 

"Dad, I'm working so please go away." he kept his head buried while replying. 

"No, you're not, you're just sitting and mooning away like a lovelorn sheep." his father observed him unsympathetically. 

"Cow." 

"Eh?" 

"I believe the expression should be 'mooning like a cow'." 

"Whatever." The dead Mountie shrugged. "As I was saying, your heart isn't broken so stop acting like the whole world has collapsed around you." 

"It feels broken. Ray hates me and I don't blame him. I went too far without his consent." Fraser's voice was muffled, sandwiched as it was between two hands and his father had to crane his ears to hear. 

"For heaven's sakes, lift your head up, I can't hear you!" Fraser Senior growled. 

Finally, Fraser did as he was told and glared at his deceased patriarch. 

"That's better." Fraser Senior said in satisfaction. "So now, what's this I hear about you being in love with your best friend?" 

"I love Ray and nothing you say will changed my feelings for him." Fraser said in an almost belligerent tone towards his father. 

"Who said I was going to dissuade you from loving him? I just thought you might need a little advice from your dead father." 

"You mean you approve?" Fraser couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"Certainly, why not? He's perfect for you." 

"Oh." 

Fraser Senior smiled a little at his son's nonplussed expression. "So what are you going to do now?" 

Fraser stifled an urge to lower his head down into his arms again. "I don't know. I went too far the other night. I lost control over myself. But it was just that..." Just that the feel of Ray's lips and bare skin under my fingers were so intoxicating and heady that I couldn't help myself. "Ray doesn't love me." he concluded, feeling a wide, bottomless gulf opening under him at the sound of those words, 'Ray doesn't love me'. 

"Of course he does." his father contradicted him briskly. "He's just too scared to admit it, that's all." 

"How would you know? You're dead." Fraser pointed out. 

"What has that got to do with anything? Trust me. Instead of sitting here 

like a stump of dead wood, why don't you go and confront him and talk things over?" The dead Mountie offered helpfully. 

"Ray won't talk to me." Fraser closed his eyes in anguish. 

"Force him to then! For goodness sakes, son! Be a Mountie!" Fraser Senior lost all patience and rebuked. "Or would you rather give up and be unhappy for the rest of your life? Think about it." The sound of his father's voice stopped speaking then and when Fraser opened his eyes, he was gone. 

So he sat there for a few minutes and thought about it. 

And got up, put his hat on and with a determined look, left his office. **************************** 

"Ray, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

Elaine rolled her eyes towards the ceiling when she heard. The detective had been snappy, distracted and moody the past week so it was understandable that Elaine didn't believe him when he told her that everything was okay. 

"Had a quarrel with Fraser?" she deduced and when Ray gave a small start, she knew she was on the right path. 

"No, what makes you say that?" he denied it testily. 

"How about the fact that he hasn't been around the precinct for the past week and you haven't mentioned his name in the entire time?" 

"Elaine, don't you have any work to do?" 

"No, not really. Ray, just call him up and apologise. You're miserable, he's probably miserable and you're making me miserable." Elaine went on relentlessly. 

"Stop being an agony aunt and go away." Ray put it as baldly as possible. "Leave me alone." 

"Okay but you know you'll feel better after talking to him." Elaine threw back as she walked away from his desk. 

No, I won't. I'll feel even more confused than I am right now. 

For the past 7 days, Ray had been trying to tell himself that the kiss had been a momentary insanity. That it didn't mean anything. And it certainly didn't mean that he was in love with Benny. 

But I liked it when he kissed me. I liked it a lot and when he touched me... Ray gave a violent shake to his head to clear that seductive and compelling memory. 

No, no, no...NO!! 

He buried his head in his arms. 

And thus didn't noticed the Mountie walking purposely and silently up to his desk and stood there. 

"Ray?" 

He lifted his head up so fast at the sound of that voice that he nearly gave himself whiplash in doing so. 

"Fraser? What the hell are you doing here?" Seeing his friend standing there bought back a rush of feelings that Ray would rather not have. 

"We have to talk, Ray." 

"No, we don't. I have nothing to say to you. You are not in love with me and I certainly don't love you either! Now, go away." Ray hissed flatly in an undertone. 

"I beg to differ." Fraser, polite as always even in the possibility of unrequited love, contradicted quietly. "I do love you, Ray and I strongly believe that you feel the same way about me except that you are not willing to admit it to me or to yourself." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." But a part, a large part, of him did know. Knew that he loved Benton Fraser too. Deeply and irrevocably. And he tried to squash that part of him now but it wouldn't stay squashed. It kept popping up like a damn Jack in the box. 

He looked away from Benny, avoiding his gaze, afraid of what he might see in those blue eyes and even more of what his own eyes might revealed. And that was when he felt a hand grasped his arm and dragged him up from his chair. 

When Fraser saw that Ray was going to be stubborn about this, he decided to take his father's advice. He caught Ray's arm in a vise-like grip and propelled the detective before him, marching him forward relentlessly. 

"Benny?!" As he was being dragged out against his will by Fraser, Ray caught sight of Elaine, watching both men with an extremely amused expression on her face. 

"Don't worry, Ray! I'll inform Lt. Welsh that you're taking the day off!" she called out merrily to him. 

"Thank you kindly, Elaine." Fraser called back, without breaking his purposeful strides. 

How in the world am I going to explain this tomorrow?! Ray groaned in despair. Kidnapped by a psychotic Mountie! 

With a protesting Ray in tow, Fraser didn't relinquish his hold until they were out of the building and before the Riv, parked a few meters away. He then rummaged around Ray's pockets for the keys, found them, opened the driver's door, shoved his friend inside and slid into the other. 

"Drive." he ordered to a spluttering Ray. 

"Drive? Drive where, for Christ's sakes? Have you completely lost your mind?!" 

Fraser appeared to give the question some serious consideration before replying. "My apartment, please. It's quieter and thus less chances of distraction. And no, I haven't lost my mind. I am in full possession of my mental facilities and that's why I'm doing this." he paused and repeated again. "Ray, drive." 

And so Ray drove. In light of Benny's current mood, he was afraid that the 

Mountie might do something even more drastic if he didn't obeyed, like maybe grabbed him into a lip-lock in front of the entire precinct! 

When they reached the apartment finally and the moment Fraser shut the door, Ray said furiously, "Who the hell do you think you are? Dragging me off like that!" and stopped abruptly when Fraser's hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace. 

"Oh, I know who I am...someone who loves you." he whispered softly and leaned down to cover Ray's mouth with his own. 

Oh God, he's doing it again, Ray thought dazedly. But this time, when he felt Benny's lips touched his, a barrier seemed to crumble like dust and blew away inside him and he responded by kissing him back for all he's worth. 

When they at last broke apart, Fraser stared deeply into Ray's eyes, searching those green depths for something he hoped would be there. 

He saw fear, which was natural but he also saw a desire to match his own and love was there too. Love for him. Ray did care and that made Fraser wanted to shout aloud in relief, joy and overwhelming gladness. 

But instead, he just asked huskily, "I love you. Do you love me?" He needed to hear it spoken outloud by Ray. 

Ray closed his eyes for a second, opened them and there was a determined look in them as he gazed back at the one person he now knew he loved above all else. "Yes." he replied simply. He couldn't deny it anymore, his feelings for Fraser were practically singing in his bones now after the kiss. 

He didn't really know when it had happened, when he started to love his best friend and partner but it didn't really matter, did it? The truth was that he did love him. And so much so that it frightened him, the intensity of that love and that was why he had denied and stifled it within himself for so long. 

"Good. And now may I have your permission to make love to you?" Without waiting for an answer, Fraser loosened Ray's shirt collar by undoing the top button and bent his head down, and pressed his lips against the exposed neck, tasting the warm skin with the barest flick from the tip of his tongue. 

Ray uttered a short gasp of arousal as Fraser undid more buttons and hands slid inside to caress his chest and nipples. 

"Benny..." 

"Yes, Ray?" Fraser asked distractedly while still nuzzling Ray's delectable neck. 

"I..." he broke off, shuddering lightly as tongue replaced hands. Ray shut his eyes as Benny wrapped his mouth against one nipple, sucking urgently while his fingers gently squeezed the other. He gasped again when the Mountie's hands slid down to his buttocks and pushed him forward, grinding him against Benny's groin where Ray could feel his erection through the cloth. 

"Bed?" he started again but only managed to get out that one word out but luckily his partner understood. 

"Good idea." And with that somehow, Ray wasn't too sure how it happened, his mind was going out of his head with sensuous pleasure, he found himself lying below Fraser in bed. 

Fraser continued his exploration of Ray's body. He had imagined doing this in his dreams countless times once he found out that he was in love with Ray, but dreams were a poor substitute to reality. And reality was his lover moaning softly at the pleasure he was bringing to him. He slowly undressed Ray, fingers lingering lovingly on each newly exposed section of tanned skin and when the shirt was off, Fraser began to unclasp Ray's belt and pulled down the trousers in one quick, smooth motion. He took off Ray's shoes and socks equally fast and flung them down beside the floor along with the rest of the discarded clothing. 

Staring down at Ray's nakedness, Fraser thought he had never seen anything as beautiful and sacred as the slender, lithe form lying underneath him now. 

Ray looked questioningly up at him when he stopped and Fraser just smiled possessively at him. "You are magnificent, Ray." he said and watched in loving fascination as Ray started to blush at his words. He undressed himself rapidly and when he too was naked, stretched himself carefully on top of his friend, relishing the feel of Ray's bare skin against his own. 

Ray looked up into Fraser's face and some of his initial uncertainty came back. 

"I'm afraid, Benny." he admitted and there was apprehension in his voice. Sex with a man was something he had never contemplated even in his wildest dreams before. 

"Don't be. Trust me." And Fraser kissed his neck and chest lightly to soothe his fears away and slowly the tension drained from Ray's body and he wrapped his arms tightly around the other man. "I will never hurt you. Never." 

"I want to love you. Will you let me love you?" This time he did wait for Ray's answer. It would kill him if he said no, but he would stop because he wanted Ray to be ready before they make love. Fraser didn't want to rush things now only to have Ray regretting it as a horrible mistake the morning 

after. 

Gazing into his would be lover's face and seeing the immense love and consideration there, Ray came to a decision. He reached down his hand and firmly grasped Fraser's cock and was instantly rewarded by a hoarse gasp above him. 

"Does this answer your question?" Ray grinned at Fraser's response to his touch as he started to run his fingers gently up and down the hard flesh. It should feel strange, bringing another man off, but when the other man was Benny, well, it just felt incredibly...erotic. 

Fraser closed his eyes in ecstasy as Ray stroked his cock, first slowly and then with an increasing urgency. Just when he felt he was about to come, he suddenly grasped Ray's wrist, pulled it away from his throbbing flesh and pinned it down against the bed. 

Instead, he started kissing Ray's neck and chest again but this time, moving further down until he reached Ray's own erection and without any warning, took it in his mouth and started sucking strongly. While he was doing this, he reached out one hand to cup Ray's balls and started squeezing and caressing them gently. 

Ray bit back a cry of pleasure as he felt Benny's warm mouth descend upon him and devoured him whole. He threw back his head back against the pillow and arched his entire body off the bed. "Benny!" was all he panted out as his friend sucked him dry when he reached orgasm an instant later. He couldn't believe the things that the normally straight-laced Mountie was doing to him, never dreamt that he would even *know* how to make love to a man. 

He fell back against the bed, limp and almost zoned out by the intensity of the orgasm but was revived by the taste of Benny's teeth, gently nibbling on his lower lip. 

"Where did you learn to do that?" Ray managed to ask. 

"I just did what seemed appropriate, Ray. Didn't you like it?" Fraser stopped nibbling and raised his head to ask, a worried look in his blue eyes. 

"Oh, I liked it. I liked it *a lot*, Benny." he assured his partner. "Now, fuck me." 

"I beg your pardon?" Fraser blurted out in some shock although Ray's request or command was more like it, bought him perilously close to release again. 

"I said fuck me. Or don't you want to?" Ray pulled his legs up and spread them wide apart as he asked his friend seriously. 

Fraser sucked in his breath and almost lost his self control then and there, at the sight of Ray offering himself to him. 

"No, Ray. I want desperately to plunge deep inside you and impale you on my penis and fuck you till your brains turned to mush," Ray's eyes widened at the descriptions he was using. He never knew his Benny could be so...graphic. "But do you know what actually you are asking me to do?" Fraser had to make sure, although his cock felt like it was going to implode soon if he didn't get some relief. 

Ray reached up with both hands, grasped Fraser's shoulders and pulled him down between his legs. "Yes, Benny. I do know what I'm asking you to do." And he did know the enormity of what he was asking. A blow job was nice and fine but this was connection on the deepest level possible but he knew that he needed to feel Fraser inside him. He didn't just need it, he craved it. 

"Fuck me now." he repeated for the third time and locked his legs tightly around Fraser's broad back in an unmistakable invitation. 

Fraser, never breaking his gaze from Ray's green eyes, unwrapped the legs around him and placed them on his shoulders instead. There wasn't any lubricants around so saliva would have to do and Fraser spat some onto his palm and rubbed it onto his cock. 

He then positioned himself carefully and let the tip of his penis touched Ray's anus, causing his friend to moan out loud as he did. "Ray, perhaps it would be safer if we switched to another position for this. It might hurt more this way." Fraser warned. 

"No, I want you to see my face and I want to see yours when you do this." was Ray's faint but adamant answer. "Now DO it before I withdraw my offer." And waited tersely. 

"I love you." Fraser whispered as he drove his entire length into that tiny, puckered opening. 

And Ray screamed. A harsh, wordless cry. 

Fraser froze, so sure that he had hurt his friend and after he had promised never to do that. He prepared to withdraw immediately but was prevented by Ray gasping out, "It's okay, Benny, it's all right." 

"It's not all right. I've hurt you, Ray. I'm sorry." Fraser wanted to cry in frustration and self-loathing at the pain he was causing to the one person he wanted to protect and cherish so very much. "I'm so sorry." 

"Benny, stop that. I was taken by surprise, that's all. I just didn't expected you to be so...big." Ray breathed in sharply and tried to sort out the tangle of sensations he was experiencing like now. Pain of initial penetration was present, that was to be expected but it wasn't too bad and even that feeling was gradually fading away to be replaced by one of intense 

pleasure. The pleasure of having Benny inside him, filling him so completely and utterly. 

"It's fine. I'm ready now." he told a worried Fraser. 

"Are you sure?" And got his answer when Ray grasped his hips and gave them a hard push forward causing Fraser to slid even deeper inside. And this time, Fraser was the one to cry out loud at the delicious sensations pounding through him. Ray was so tight that it almost hurt but then his lover relaxed and loosened around him and Fraser began to thrust in earnest. Long, deep, hard thrusts that made Ray raked Fraser's back with his nails, lost in mindless ecstasy. 

Ray started screaming again, but this time he was screaming Benny's name as he climaxed again and as he did, his anus closed around Fraser's cock in an impossibly tight grip. And it felt so good, being inside Ray, hearing him cry out his name in the heat of orgasm just like he dreamt of, that Fraser climaxed along with his lover, sending his seed spurting out into the deep recesses of Ray's body. He collapsed on top of Ray, burying his head in the crook of Ray's neck, legs and arms still tangled, too wrung out to roll away. 

When both could breathe normally again, Fraser finally shifted his weight from Ray's slender body and turned to face him. 

"Benny, that was incredible." Ray took a long deep shuddering breath. He ached all over, especially his anus but despite that, he felt sated and somewhow complete. 

"I know, I'm sorry, Ray, for being so rough. I lost my self-control again." Fraser apologised in shame as he gathered the detective into his arms and hugged him tightly as if somehow he wanted to meld Ray into his very being. 

"Don't worry about it, Benny. I liked it. I wanted you to be rough." came the muffled reply from somewhere around Fraser's chest. 

"Ray, I love you." 

"Me too and I'm sorry I denied it for so long." There was a peculiar regret in Ray's voice as he said it and Fraser felt slight stirrings of panic rising in him. Was Ray regretting just now already? 

"What do you mean?" he asked anxiously. 

"Well, we could have had such mind-blowing sex so much earlier if I had admitted to loving you a lot sooner." Ray teased. 

Fraser smiled in relief as he heard and reached over for his lover. 

"We could make up for lost time right now." he said suggestively to Ray. 

And they did. 

(The End) 

I did it!!!! *amazed and delighted look* I wrote my first slash story! Oh wow...okay...I think I'm going to go lie down now....I'm whacked. 

verity@pacific.net.sg ; >

* * *


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